Mengenang Eyang Sapardi

Dari Hatiku Selembar Daun hingga Hujan Bulan Juni, aku mengenang karya-karya beliau sebagai suatu kesederhanaan. Suatu kesederhanaan yang nilainya terasa sangat mewah. Beliau mampu mengumpamakan sesuatu yang vital dan penuh makna, dengan hal-hal yang sederhana. Hal itu menyadarkanku bahwa hal-hal yang seringkali luput dari perhatian kita adalah hal yang justru sebenarnya banyak mengajarkan.

Hujan Bulan Juni, di bulan kemarau yang sebetulnya sulit untuk mendatangkan hujan, diumpamakan sebagai upaya mencintai yang paling tabah. Yang merahasiakan rindu, yang menghapus keraguan, dan yang membiarkan yang tak terucapkan. Dan kemudian tetap tabah meski dilakukannya hal-hal yang paling sulit dari mencintai.

Hatiku Selembar Daun, perumpamaan yang begitu rapuh. Daun mudah tersapu, baik oleh angin maupun kesengajaan. Begitu mudahnya terlewatkan. Kerapuhan tersebut mampu membuatku berempati dengan hati yang mendamba kesempatan untuk menetap, untuk memandang hal yang selama ini luput ia perhatikan. Sebelum akhirnya melewatkannya seperti selembar daun.  

Di Restoran, memesan menu makanan diumpamakan sebagai hal yang paling sulit. Saking sulitnya hingga akhirnya hampir menyerah karena memesan rasa sakit yang tak putus dan nyaring lengkingnya, setelah sebelumnya berupaya memesan ilalang panjang dan bunga rumput, atau batu di tengah sungai terjal yang deras. Sementara hanya ia sendiri yang berusaha. Melalui ilalang dan bunga rumput yang merupakan tumbuhan liar dan terabaikan, atau batu di sungai terjal yang pada akhirnya terkikis, terdapat upaya cinta sendiri untuk menyuburkan dan melumatkan cinta yang gersang dan keras.

Belum lagi Sajak Kecil tentang Cinta, yang mengumpamakan mencintai dengan hal-hal yang melekat di semesta ini: air, angin, api, cakrawala. “Mencintai api harus menjadi jilat…”; “Mencintai cakrawala harus menebas jarak…” untuk pada akhirnya “MencintaiMu(mu) harus menjadi aku.” Mu, yang bagian buruknya seperti terjal pada gunung, ricik pada air, menjadi bagian yang sewajarnya dari Aku.

Dan masih banyak lagi kata yang mampu mengobati waktu yang sepi dan sendiri.

Meski menurutku, sajak terbaik Eyang Sapardi adalah Dalam Doaku. Ada harapan yang melibatkan sisi religiositas dalam mencintai seseorang. Ada lima waktu yang diumpamakan sebagai cinta yang tidak akan pernah selesai. Cinta yang mendoakan keselamatan yang dicintai. “Dalam doaku subuh ini...”; “Ketika matahari mengambang tenang di atas kepala…”; “Dalam doaku sore ini…”; “Magrib ini…,” hingga “Dalam doa malamku kau menjelma denyut jantungku, yang dengan sabar bersitahan terhadap rasa sakit yang entah batasnya…” Suatu umpama mencintai seseorang hingga selalu melibatkannya dalam lima waktu penting dalam hidupnya. Mendoakan memang level mencintai yang paling atas.

Meskipun, yang ditulis oleh Eyang Sapardi bukan hanya tentang cinta. Ada juga perjuangan buruh, ketuhanan, atau konsep liyan yang sering bergulat dalam identitas diri. Namun, yang paling bisa direlasikan oleh setiap orang memang cinta, bukan? Suatu hal universal yang paling mudah diterima. Cinta adalah hal fundamental yang dapat menjadi suatu penghiburan, pengharapan, dan lainnya. Kesederhanaan kata yang ditulis oleh Sapardi Djoko Damono memang mudah menimbulkan cinta pada setiap orang.

Selamat jalan Eyang Sapardi. Dalam sajak-sajakmu, dalam kesederhanaanmu, kau tidak pernah letih-letihnya kami cari.

Bonus foto waktu pertama kalinya ketemu Eyang Sapardi :)

#SapardiDjokoDamono

Little Women and the Twitter Lunchbox

I love this interpretation by Greta Gerwig!

I see all of the imaginary traits of what I wanted to be in the eyes of 10-year old me are reflected in the figure of Jo March: to be talented in writing (and drawing), to be able to speak out, to be carefree, and especially to manage being homely yet admirable at once. Jo March, a protagonist in the prominent American Classic Little Women, was the second daughter of March family. She was free spirited and chose to make her own way of living. As much as she appreciated her families and everyone in her neighborhood, she didn’t let anyone around her define herself. I knew later though that Jo March’s life was the complete opposite from the writer’s harsh reality.

Although the novel was set in early 1860 in America, at some point the domestic things portrayed in Little Women also resonated in the current life of Indonesian people. As the Civil War happened in the background and men served in the military, the domestic issues were mostly about women: she and her three sisters. Her sisters were equally attractive like Jo March. It was told that each daughter in March’s family faced their own struggles of life, switching the innocent childhood to the responsibilities of adulthood, specifically in regard to marriage.

In Little Women, deprivation condition of March family made it reasonable to marry in exchange for wealth. Yet, the March daughters decided their own way to marry. Not to mention Beth March, the kindest of all, who died in a young age. Jo March, though in the end she succeeded marrying someone she loved, she initially didn’t want to get married and chose to live in her own happy world. Then, Amy March, the youngest, was the realistic one. She determined to marry a prosperous man. She believed that woman had no choice but to consider marriage as an economic proposition. However, it turned out that she married for love. Last, Meg March, the oldest daughter, chose to let go her dream of becoming an actress by marrying for love, not for money. I remember the scene where Jo asked Meg to run away with her so that she could pursue her dream, she rejected in a stunning answer that she had always dreamed to have a family, that, “just because my dream is different than yours, doesn’t mean it is unimportant.”

The March Sisters (2019 version)

When it came to an end, I paused in awe for a little while. Considering it as a feminist work (though many also object it), I admire how it delivers the concept of feminism not as an exclusive one. It encourages each woman’s dreams: to choose freely whatever life she wants. It regards the feminism not only for women but also to shape a better world for men. I see that from how Laurie (or Teddy) was associated with the March daughters to find himself. Laurie was brought up as a brand-new masculinity that a man could be sensitive, connected, yet still made a man out of him.

Then, out of many words that can express women, I think and wonder at the same time of marriage as the closest subject attached to women. All the March daughters were the best in their talent: Meg in acting, Jo in writing, Beth in music, and Amy in painting or artwork. However, the way they validated themselves was by getting married. Yet, I know it is unjustified. The March sisters were happy for their marriage. It set them free. It comes to my thought then that marriage should be like that: liberating.

Those make the hot discussion of a self-made lunchbox for husband (bekal untuk suami) on Indonesian Twitterland a kind of nonsense joke. It seems like people couldn’t even let other people enjoy their happiness. She, the wife, wasn’t even forced to do so. She did it deliberately and happily. So I laughed when some people deemed it as a form of slavery in marriage. I respect any choice that woman, and man, or any human, makes (as long as it doesn't cross my beliefs). I know a woman who chose to not get married and adopted a child instead. I know a woman who chose to get married very early when she was still studying at university. Those were their choice. As for me, I can imagine that when it comes to marriage, I wouldn't mind being a homemaker type: dedicating myself to ensure that the home is alright. Although I think, for now, that marriage is still long way to go since love never comes to me gently, the wedding invitation in almost every corner of week somehow makes me feel pressured lol. However, it is always sad to hear what people say about the best age for woman to get married. Well, I know that famous saying about biological clock thing, but... that concept of age makes woman as if they were a withered abandoned flower when their best time was over...

Sigh. I just wish for everyone to be happy. Truly happy :)

Side Note:

I love this Jo and Laurie proposal scene :)

#LittleWomen #ReviewfromIndonesia #BekalUntukSuami