It is odd to understand
that coming home by riding Gojek at night is strangely exhilarating for me;
the gentle touch of night
wind which stroked my face,
the dazzling street lamps which acted like they were pointing a direction to me,
and the contrary of a more relaxed pace of the other
rides compared to the morning rush.
Sitting and enjoying all
those sensations give me time to immerse deeply in thoughts.
It somehow reminds me of
life.
It somehow becomes a reflective
ride.
Sometimes I wish I could
take a longer route.
So that I have more time
to reflect, to picture, to feel, the presence of solitary happiness.
As the street lamp reflects
its sparks on street, my mind dwells in those passing times.
Prompting me to think how acceptance and
forgiveness have become the most defining factors in my life now,
as I grow older.
as I grow older.
Not always in the sense
of others, but of ourselves. Of myself.
To accept and to forgive
myself.
It amazes me that as life becomes simpler, happiness comes along on their own.
And I forget to
remember,
it has been so many
years since then when I no longer live a life with expectancy.
Instead, I embrace the present
where I can find a peculiar sense of consolation.
Finding the reminiscences in between insecurity and certainty.
Finding the reminiscences in between insecurity and certainty.
Letting me being washed away by the thoughts,
that maybe it was not that hard to let go.
that maybe it was not that hard to let go.
**
Then, to the light of
street lamps which imitates contemporary blinding things in life,
You can laugh and love
without inhibitions.
You can feel... that life has never felt
this gentle.
(Bogor, 2018)
